If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
