rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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