Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
3pm strippers are depressing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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