You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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