all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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