There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
