some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
