oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
