TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
