This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
