we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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