he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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