Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
