Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He passed out mid-signature
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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