I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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