Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
