i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
