I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
