I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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