I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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