yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I smell stomach acid.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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