i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
