i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize