Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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