Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
