tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
