Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
