Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
