i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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