It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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