You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
