Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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