I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Never underestimate the power of titties
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
