also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
