Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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