Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
