This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
