shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize