I have demons in me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
