she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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