He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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