The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
