Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize