we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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