haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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