So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
