i barfeds in our rink
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
