I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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