maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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