i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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