just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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