Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
