I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
