I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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