this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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