Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Found the puke drawer
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
