If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
