so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
