I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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