I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
