I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
