Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
