ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
