grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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