Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
